Rich and poor?!

So lately I have been thinking a lot about money. How I wish I had more, how I wish I wanted to spend money less, how I wish I could afford everything I wanted/needed/desired and it inspired me for this blog post. So right now I feel like I am rich and poor at the same time.

At the moment I work full time, and with full time work comes full time pay, which for the first few months of having full time pay was lovely! I could go on shopping sprees, I could treat my friends, parents and Ryan. I was flash with the cash! But it’s very true with what they say, the more you earn the more you spend.

Now I had more money, I could afford to have more outgoings or what I like to call my monthly bills. I could get that new phone upgrade I wanted with a better and more expensive tariff. I could sell my old car which was around 15/16 years old and I could lease a brand new swanky Fiat 500. I could go on random road trips because petrol was forever being put into my car without a care in the world! But then with these new monthly outgoings it meant I had less ‘pocket money’. I was always putting at least 10% of my wages away every month, and was finding that with my rent, my food money, my phone bill and my car, that wasn’t leaving a lot left.

And that’s when the true struggle began. Me and ryan got engaged and now we are trying to claw as much money as possible together to pay for the dream wedding! The wedding I have always wanted, yet every now and then I have that sulky child moment where I get upset because I have all this money, without actually being allowed to spend it. When in reality, I could actually spend it but then I wouldn’t get what I really wanted, and what I really want is the wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I still yearn to splurge every now and then on myself, but I am also being very strict. I keep reminding myself that after the wedding I will have more money, but I know that is secretly a lie because I would have well and truly entered adulthood and I would be either paying my rent, bills and council tax or I would be paying my mortgage, bills and council tax. As well as trying to kit out my new home, and possibly having to pay for more petrol depending on how far away we move and how much we add to our commute to work.

Oh gone were the days when my 12 hour contract at work turned into 21 and then later turned into 36.5 hours (to be exact) and I was so chuffed with all that extra money I had! But I have to keep reminding myself, it’s what I want, and if that means having less money to spend on myself, then I will have to suck it up.(In reality i’m rubbish at spending money on myself so it would be pointless if I had more money because it would just sit in my bank account!).

So let’s see how I get on, and if I can be a bit more creative with the way I spend my pocket money and try and find ways in which to treat myself a bit more without breaking the bank!


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