So, when people talk about mum guilt they are normally talking about the guilt they feel surrounding their children. But I’m not going to talk about that type of ‘Mum Guilt’. The type of mum guilt I have been feeling is in fact, for other mums!
Since Aria has been born, in all honesty? I have found it pretty straight forward. That might be to do with the fact that I am currently living with my parents, so I have a few extra pairs of hands around if I need them, or it could just be because I am one of the lucky ones!
So many people ask me the same question time and time again “Are you getting a lot of sleepless nights?” and my answer is “No. She’s a really good sleeper actually!”. There are so many things I read up about on before I had Aria, ready to face an obstacle that might come my way:
- Struggling to breastfeed: For a lot of mums, when it comes to breastfeeding the struggle is real. The baby has a poor latch, the baby is tongue-tied, they get mastitis, they get thrush therefore the baby has oral thrush, the baby is fussy at the breast, they aren’t gaining weight properly, the poor mother has cracked and bleeding nipples, the mother has a slow let down, the list goes on! I have been so lucky on my breastfeeding journey so far and the fact that it has come so naturally that I feel so guilty knowing there are so many other mothers struggling out there!
- The baby won’t take a bottle: For a lot of breastfeeding mums, from time to time they want to have a break, or they want their partner to be able to feed the baby, so they look to introduce a bottle. Whether that be formula or expressed milk. Again, Aria was great at the breast, and is also really good at taking a bottle. I have read on so many forums about women trying every teat and bottle under the sun, and still their baby won’t feed from it, therefore, never giving the tired mother a break!
- Sleepless nights: Again, I have been so lucky with the way Aria sleeps. She very rarely will sleep for less than 2 hours at night. At 4 weeks old she was sleeping for 4 hours at a time, and she has also done a few stints of 6/7 hours. Now for a breastfed baby that young, it’s pretty much unheard of!
- Cluster feeding: Cluster feeding is when your baby is pretty much hanging off your boob all day! Yes, Aria has days where she is having a growth spurt and she feeds more frequently, but I haven’t had a day, so far, where I have been chained to the couch/ bed, not being able to shower, or even wee or eat. I have been so lucky that she will feed, and sleep for nearly an hour before round 2 starts.
- Breastfeeding in public: Again, I have read on forums where poor women have been given dirty looks, or even had some rude comments said to them for breastfeeding their little one in public, and I myself am yet to experience that, if I ever do that is!
- Cold dinners: Okay yes. I have experienced this, but this was only in the first 3 weeks. it’s pretty much expected that the first 2 weeks are the hardest, but for some women, this literally goes on for weeks and weeks!
- Being housebound: Since Aria was 4 days old I have been out and about with her. I wanted to get out as soon as possible to try and get a bit of normality, and also to build my confidence with going out with a brand new baby. We actually went out for a family meal when she was just 6 days old!
- Colic: Some babies get really bad trapped wind, and it is awful! So far Aria has only had this twice which I am so happy about, because there really is nothing worse than seeing your baby scream in pain, and whatever you do doesn’t seem to work.
- Content baby: Everyone that meets Aria always comments on how content she is, and how happy she is to be out and about whilst I’m being a lady that lunches!
I haven’t written this post to brag about how great I have it compared to others. I am writing this post to say to all you mums out there, I am so sorry if you are having a tough time, I do truly feel guilty that so far ‘touch wood’ that motherhood has come to be like a duck to water. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t feel guilty that I’m having it easy. But hey, I’m only 10 weeks in so something is bound to happen to me eventually!