See part two here.
Once the midwife had given us an estimation for time of birth it was time for me to get my head in the game. I tried to stay as focused as possible, still obsessing over the numbers on the monitor to get through each and every painful contraction. I’m going to be honest, labour hurts. But with a positive mental attitude anyone can get through it.
Soon enough my body started going into transition. Now I hadn’t heard of transition until I had given birth, but looking back it was clear as to when I was going through it. All of a sudden I became this mooing cow of a woman. The moans and groans were much louder and according to Ryan, I let out a massive shriek on two occasions. My body had taken over, I hadn’t completely lost control but I could feel that I had a lot less control than I did before. All of a sudden I had the urge to push, or more to the point I couldn’t do anything to stop my body from pushing!
During the pushing stage I was definitely my most controlled. By this point my head was so in the game and nothing was gonna stop me getting this baby out! I was so determined that at the end of every single push, I took a deep breath and just kept on pushing!
Okay, so although I would say I was quite controlled whilst I was pushing, it was definitley my most undignified part of labour. It went a little bit like this:
Midwife: You’re waters have gone!
Holly: No! I’m weeing myself!
M: No, darling it’s your waters!
H: Oh no! I’ve poo’ed myself!
M: No you haven’t darling!
H: Yes I have! Ryan, go check!!!!
M: Stay where you are Ryan.
So obviously I had poo’ed a bit!
After that, the midwife asked if I could go to the toilet. Clearly my bodily functions were causing quite a mess in the delivery room and she wanted me to get it in the toilet bowl. Upon hearing her request I was adamant I wasn’t going anywhere without the gas and air. She explained there was gas and air in there, so off I went (well, hobbled as fast as I could in between contractions) and there I was, standing over the toilet bowl having the most almighty sensation to push, it was as if the head was right on the cusp of coming out!!!! I got back to the bed as fast a my shaking legs would carry me, to try and get this baby out once and for all!
Finally a few pushes later…
M: Oh there go your waters, nice and clear
H: I told you I was weeing myself earlier!!
After my waters had gone, that was pretty much it. The midwife could now see the head! She invited Ryan to go down to have a look. Now. Before I was in labour Ryan was adamant that he wasn’t going to be down “the business end”. But off he went to check out our baby’s head! I couldn’t have been more proud! Once Ryan was down there each of them took a leg- as my human stirrups and helped me get in the best position to get the baby out.
And then it came. I remember this bit so clearly. I don’t know how anyone would be able to forget it.
“OH MY GOD IT’S THE RING OF FIREEEEEEEEE” I wailed!!! My chin was firmly on my chest and I was holding that push with all the might I had left in me. And just like that, the head was delivered.
Once the head was out, I was actually so chill. My midwife must have thought I was a nutcase. There I was patting Aria on the head, telling Ryan to come and pat the head. Babbling on saying “Look Ryan this is our baby’s head!
Not long after, I had the final contraction that would be the one that sent Aria into this world. And just like that, she slid down the bed- superman style (I have the scar to prove it) and was born into this world. After that I was a mess. I was scrabbling for this baby I had just birthed. So desperate to hold her, and find out whether she was a boy or girl. She was placed on my chest and I was an absolute wreck. Sobbing like a loon, telling her I was her mummy and she was my baby. Telling Ryan “This is our baby”.
It is the best feeling in the whole wide world. And do you know what? I can’t wait to do it all over again!