I’m here again. I’m unmotivated. For the past few months I haven’t touched my blog or my Youtube channel. I go through phases of loving it and wanting to put out loads of content, and expressing my thoughts and feelings, but at this current moment in time I just can’t be bothered.
I am a self professed un-creative. I am not artistic, I am not a creative thinker, my imagination is pretty rubbish and I just struggle with all of the arty-farty stuff. Over the years I have been told I am a good writer. My blog posts are relateable and an easy read. Most people think it comes easily to me, and is natural. Well let me be real. It takes me a lot of time and effort when I write down my mindless ramblings. The amount of times I start a post, then hate what I’ve written is countless. There have even been times that I have just binned off an idea completely because I just cannot for the life of me write a good introduction. I can’t stand a really long blog post, but instead opt for a quick burst of thoughts, which are clear and concise and as less rambly as possible. I would much rather split a giant idea into a few posts, because I love the detail, but can’t stand to go on forever.
At the moment I’m in a funk. If i’m being completely honest, my mental health is suffering at the moment. There are things that are going on in my life and I’m just to tired to deal with them. Heck, there are even things that are still whirring round my head that happened 6 years ago!
Blogging has always been a way for me to let out my emotions, to get them on paper so I can empty them from my brain. But what am I meant to do when some of those thoughts and feelings could hurt the people that read my posts? I am not one for airing my dirty laundry in public but at the same time, sometimes it’s easier to write it down than it is to talk to someone 1-2-1.
I have been recommended to write a journal, but for me, that is too long winded. I don’t like physically writing, mainly because it hurts my hand with all the stuff I need to get out of my brain, but also I can’t go back and erase and re-write my thoughts as easily as I could using my laptop.
I don’t even know what the point of this post is. I just know I needed to write it.