So I am now 9 weeks post partum, and the body blues are real! I am fed up of having the new wobbly tummy, these chunky thighs, and quite frankly, I am sick and tired of having to wear frumpy clothes!
I have never really had any real major concerns with my body, yes there are always things I wish ‘looked better’ but I was still happy to wear whatever clothes I wanted and rock a bikini whilst on holiday. But since having a baby that has changed.
The hardest part of pregnancy for me was how much my body changed. I was pretty much all bump though, which did help a bit, but I still found it very hard to get my head round to the fact that I did infact, have a bump. I would catch sight of my reflection in mirrors whilst rushing around at work, or in a shop window and it would startle me at first! Although I knew I was pregnant, it still took my brain a while to remember that I had this bump infront of me. I was still trying to fit through gaps that definitely were not big enough for me plus a bump! The brain is a weird thing! I found it increasingly hard to accept my new body, which I had very little control over, but that’s what helped me a bit ‘I have no control over this’. So I just carried on as normal and tried to push it out of my mind.
Towards the end of my pregnancy I was fed up of trying to stuff myself into jeans and t-shirts, that really were too tight, and I was looking forward to swapping my old wardrobe back. WRONG! Since giving birth I do not fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I can just about stuff myself into a pair of jeans, but I have the biggest ‘muffin top’ hanging over the edge, and to be frank, I’m just uncomfortable! I thought that once my bump was gone everything would be easier, forgetting the fact that when you breast feed you go up a cup size, or 2 and now have 2 different bumps to contend with and STILL do not fit into my old clothes!
Now I do have control over my body, things haven’t got better for me, if anything they have gotten worse! I am constantly standing on the scales day in day out, hoping a pound, or just an ounce would slip of my body, but alas, still not back to pre-pregnancy weight. Okay, yes I have lost a stone, but half of that was baby, a portion of that was placenta, and the rest of it was obvious water because I dropped that in a week and nothing has come off since.
I’m not entirely sure what the point of this post is to be perfectly honest. I think it’s just a way to get all my feelings onto ‘paper’ to hopefully get it out of my system and just MOVE ON! But we will see, I am a woman after all, and we can hold onto things forever!